Of Families and Pressure

When we were little, we tell our parents what we wanted to be. Mostly we will say, “I wanna be a doctor!” or “I wanna be a lawyer when I grow up.” Our parents would think it’s sweet and hopeful at the same time. But as we grow up, and eventually had our own jobs or currently looking for one, our ‘dreams’ and ‘goals’ when we were little slowly shifts to what will be beneficial for us. We later want to tell them, “Mom, Dad, this job isn’t right for me,” or “Mom, Dad, I want to focus on something else.” You’ll get two answers: either they’ll support you in any way, or they’ll coerce you to think twice.

Let me guess: you wanted to tell your plans or decisions to your family and friends, but ended up biting your lip in silence because you fear that they’ll reject you. Don’t worry, we all went to that stage. Especially me.

My family isn’t strict nor chill. We have this rule that once you did something outrageous, you’ll also drag your own family to your own problems. Although we have this rule to be truthful and not to be afraid of expressing your opinion or desire, my main fear was to get criticized at my decisions, so in the end, whenever I wanted to do something, I intend to do it — without telling anything at them. I thought I’ll surprise them instead if I end up successful so they could ask, “What did you do?”. But then, from what I have learned while studying the ASVA Masterclass, I thought keeping silent about it and surprising them later is not a healthy option, because in the end, it will make me more distant from those who matter to me. I’m already that distant to them, so I’m not planning to make it worse.

If you’re in this situation, the best way to cope is to think that what you’re doing is for them. Remember your big WHY? Why did you decide to change your plans in life? Why did you decide to try becoming a VA? Your primary reason is, of course, your family. You wanted to provide them with what they need and what they will enjoy later on. You want them to enjoy the things they have only been dreaming of before, making their dreams into a reality. You want to take them to places they have never been, take them to the best restaurants, buy them the best clothes, bring them to a better home. We all wish for that, right?

And for them to be aware that you want to give them the life they deserve, the very first thing you should do is to talk to them that you’re currently working on a part-time job as an Amazon VA or switching to a job that you think is better for you.

When you talk to them about your plan to switch careers, emphasize that you mean business, that you have found a potential career or job that will not just give you upskills, but will also earn you twice or three times — or even more — than what you’re earning at this moment. You want to let them know that you’re seriously looking for financial freedom. You want them to be part of your success in the future. Now, whether they will respond to you positively or just laugh at you or shun you, take it as their response, and continue to do or plan what is best for you.

And if you end up getting no support from your family at all, it’s okay. DO NOT give up on your initial dream. You already made it this far, so keep on doing the right thing until they will ask you, “What did you do?” or “How did you do that?” In that way, you’ll be confident to tell them that you only made the best decision of your life.

Better yet, tell them your plans and feelings before it’s too late.

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